[ Gladio's eyes drift down to watch those hands, but he doesn't say anything else, giving Noctis the space to think, to feel whatever it is he's feeling, even though the quiet is bearing down on him and the urge to reach into the space between them is hard to push down.
An answering chuckle, soft and shaky, is all that he does. He opened the door to let Noct walk through it and all he can do is hope that he would. There's a lot on his mind, but this needs to be a conversation, the two of them finding their way back to being in sync, and that means letting the silence crowd in while he waits.
Relief floods through him, his shoulders sagging slightly. ]
Yeah. I never thought it could be more than— [ His brow furrows. Getting the words out is harder than it's ever been. ] Stolen moments. Convinced myself that was fine but now? Maybe we have a chance here. [ Gladio leans back against the bench, but he looks over at Noctis, reaches out and covers his hand with his own. ] Might be, but we're not alone. Even if we hit a few bumps, I think we can figure out how to keep going.
[ It takes Noctis a minute to react to that hand covering both of his own, his heart thundering loud in his ears. He exhales softly, trying to expel some of his nerves, but even his best efforts can't slow the surge of adrenaline and the slight tremble of his hands. This is a lot. It's more than he ever thought they'd acknowledge out loud, much less discuss working toward. But that's half the fun, isn't it? The thrill of seeing where all this could lead.
After a moment, Noctis glances over at Gladio, peering at him with an assessing look. ] Yeah. I'm sure we can figure it out. [ Shifting one hand, he threads their fingers together, offering a squeeze. He feels winded, exhilarated, and a little scared. But the more he stares at Gladio, the more certain he feels. ]
You okay? [ It's a deceptively simple question, but the rasp in his voice betrays the emotion brimming underneath. ]
[ Gently, Gladio massages Noct's knuckles with the pad of his thumb, not to encourage him to speak but just to remind him that he's with him. Gladio will wait as long as it takes for Noctis to find the words he's looking for, knowing that there's always going to be more that doesn't need to be said. Like this touch, the chill of Noct's hands sinking into his skin, the steadiness in his own cradling touch, the hope in the circles he's drawing against the bone.
Meeting that gaze, Gladio's expression is open, more vulnerable than he usually allows himself to be, but this is different. For a few stolen moments, it's just them, here, with all the future reaching out ahead of them, more than he'd ever allowed himself to hope for until now. ]
We always have before. I know we will now.
[ There's certainty etched into his expression. He squeezes back, holding Noct's hand like it's the most precious thing in the world. To him, it is. Always has been. ]
I'm scared as hell, [ Gladio chuckles, and it's a little shaky, but it's warm. ] but excited too. I'm in this, wherever it goes. [ He squeezes again, reassuring. ] You okay?
[ It's kind of silly. Noctis knows, logically, that he shouldn't feel so nervous, but it's difficult to shake the sensation. His stomach is in knots, a churning sea of emotions threatening to pull him under, but Gladio's hand helps keep him safely tethered to the dock. He exhales shakily, focusing on that familiar warmth seeping into his skin. Gladio always ran hot in direct contrast to how chilly Noctis is. When he was little, he thought it was on purpose somehow. The thought shakes loose a soft noise in amusement from him, just a small snort, but when he looks at Gladio now, his eyes are sparkling. ]
We better. Took us long enough. [ There's still nervousness there, of course. It helps to hear Gladio is scared, too, and when he admits it, Noctis feels a warmth spread through his chest. He scoots closer until their hips are pressed together, which honestly helps his nerves, too. ]
I'm scared too. [ He inhales sharply, gaze dropping to stare at their hands. ] It's — hard. The things I really want always felt ... [ A beat. ] Selfish? I could never have anything that was mine. Everything else had to come first. [ Duty to his people above all. Noctis still feels that way, but he knows Gladio understands. He's always understood.
After a moment, he adds haltingly: ] But I'm happy. Really happy. And that feels weird too. [ When was the last time he felt that way? Is he even allowed to? It's a question he's been circling for a while. ]
[ A laugh bubbles up, bright and warm, and it takes some of the age that's etched into his face until he's just a young man and not the last barrier between the rest of the world and the person who was his entire world. Gladio presses back against Noct's hip, gentle and reassuring, but it's more than that too. It's an answer, it's a promise, that no matter what happens, he'll always be right there. ]
I know. [ Gladio holds Noct's hands between both of his own. It's hard, feeling uncertain, because it's always been his role to be the foundation that keeps Noct steady, to be certain when the other isn't. But he feels grounded like this, those hands in his, steadying and protective. ] There's still that voice in the back of my head, sounds a lot like my father, that's telling me I should pour all this into my duty because it's not mine to have. For a long time, I believed it. Had to.
[ He remembers the day his father had pulled him aside, instilling in him the need to bottle up all those feelings, the ones he has and the ones that he might develop in the future, because they're only going to get in the way. Gladio always wanted to be good enough in that man's eyes, so he did it, boxed up all the complicated things he felt and tucked them away. ]
Being the Shield meant putting everything else second, he told me. [ Duty to his King first, above himself, his family, all the people in the kingdom who looked to Noct to lead them. Gladio's focus has always been here. ]
Me too. Happy isn't something I thought I'd really feel, but I do. Here. [ Gladio squeezes Noct's hands. ] We've still got all those burdens on our shoulders, nothing's taking that away, but we can have this, too. I want to find out what that's like.
[ Noctis understands, intrinsically, what Gladio means about his father. Still, he says nothing, just listening with a quiet, contemplative look, absorbing those words and realizing what he needs to do about it. ] Can you promise me something? [ He knows Gladio will agree, but it needs to be an explicit agreement between them — not something assumed. Noctis is really tired of assumptions, something he's more than guilty of.
Starting at their entwined hands for a moment, he flicks his gaze back up to look at him with clear blue eyes. ] I need you to tell me if I ever overstep or make you feel uncomfortable, alright? We can't just ... untangle all this overnight. We gotta do this together.
[ He knows it's a tall order. Both of them are so used to their roles, each step meticulously preplanned and laid out for them. More than once, Regis had impressed upon his son just how much power he held over those serving him, and he's highly aware of the fact that this could go very, very badly if he isn't careful.
But Noctis is hopeful they can figure this out. And when he hears that Gladio is happy too, he can't help but smile. ] You can find out right now, [ he shoots back, teasing, that smile sliding into a smirk. It's ruined by the fact that he looks happier than he's ever felt, a brightness in his eyes he isn't aware is there, persistent and sparkling. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
An answering chuckle, soft and shaky, is all that he does. He opened the door to let Noct walk through it and all he can do is hope that he would. There's a lot on his mind, but this needs to be a conversation, the two of them finding their way back to being in sync, and that means letting the silence crowd in while he waits.
Relief floods through him, his shoulders sagging slightly. ]
Yeah. I never thought it could be more than— [ His brow furrows. Getting the words out is harder than it's ever been. ] Stolen moments. Convinced myself that was fine but now? Maybe we have a chance here. [ Gladio leans back against the bench, but he looks over at Noctis, reaches out and covers his hand with his own. ] Might be, but we're not alone. Even if we hit a few bumps, I think we can figure out how to keep going.
no subject
After a moment, Noctis glances over at Gladio, peering at him with an assessing look. ] Yeah. I'm sure we can figure it out. [ Shifting one hand, he threads their fingers together, offering a squeeze. He feels winded, exhilarated, and a little scared. But the more he stares at Gladio, the more certain he feels. ]
You okay? [ It's a deceptively simple question, but the rasp in his voice betrays the emotion brimming underneath. ]
no subject
Meeting that gaze, Gladio's expression is open, more vulnerable than he usually allows himself to be, but this is different. For a few stolen moments, it's just them, here, with all the future reaching out ahead of them, more than he'd ever allowed himself to hope for until now. ]
We always have before. I know we will now.
[ There's certainty etched into his expression. He squeezes back, holding Noct's hand like it's the most precious thing in the world. To him, it is. Always has been. ]
I'm scared as hell, [ Gladio chuckles, and it's a little shaky, but it's warm. ] but excited too. I'm in this, wherever it goes. [ He squeezes again, reassuring. ] You okay?
no subject
We better. Took us long enough. [ There's still nervousness there, of course. It helps to hear Gladio is scared, too, and when he admits it, Noctis feels a warmth spread through his chest. He scoots closer until their hips are pressed together, which honestly helps his nerves, too. ]
I'm scared too. [ He inhales sharply, gaze dropping to stare at their hands. ] It's — hard. The things I really want always felt ... [ A beat. ] Selfish? I could never have anything that was mine. Everything else had to come first. [ Duty to his people above all. Noctis still feels that way, but he knows Gladio understands. He's always understood.
After a moment, he adds haltingly: ] But I'm happy. Really happy. And that feels weird too. [ When was the last time he felt that way? Is he even allowed to? It's a question he's been circling for a while. ]
no subject
I know. [ Gladio holds Noct's hands between both of his own. It's hard, feeling uncertain, because it's always been his role to be the foundation that keeps Noct steady, to be certain when the other isn't. But he feels grounded like this, those hands in his, steadying and protective. ] There's still that voice in the back of my head, sounds a lot like my father, that's telling me I should pour all this into my duty because it's not mine to have. For a long time, I believed it. Had to.
[ He remembers the day his father had pulled him aside, instilling in him the need to bottle up all those feelings, the ones he has and the ones that he might develop in the future, because they're only going to get in the way. Gladio always wanted to be good enough in that man's eyes, so he did it, boxed up all the complicated things he felt and tucked them away. ]
Being the Shield meant putting everything else second, he told me. [ Duty to his King first, above himself, his family, all the people in the kingdom who looked to Noct to lead them. Gladio's focus has always been here. ]
Me too. Happy isn't something I thought I'd really feel, but I do. Here. [ Gladio squeezes Noct's hands. ] We've still got all those burdens on our shoulders, nothing's taking that away, but we can have this, too. I want to find out what that's like.
no subject
Starting at their entwined hands for a moment, he flicks his gaze back up to look at him with clear blue eyes. ] I need you to tell me if I ever overstep or make you feel uncomfortable, alright? We can't just ... untangle all this overnight. We gotta do this together.
[ He knows it's a tall order. Both of them are so used to their roles, each step meticulously preplanned and laid out for them. More than once, Regis had impressed upon his son just how much power he held over those serving him, and he's highly aware of the fact that this could go very, very badly if he isn't careful.
But Noctis is hopeful they can figure this out. And when he hears that Gladio is happy too, he can't help but smile. ] You can find out right now, [ he shoots back, teasing, that smile sliding into a smirk. It's ruined by the fact that he looks happier than he's ever felt, a brightness in his eyes he isn't aware is there, persistent and sparkling. ]